Womens Show Episode 3 Julia Virdee Positive Discrimination Man Bashing & Manosphere

Womens Show Episode 3 Julia Virdee Positive Discrimination Man Bashing & Manosphere

Anita talks to Julia Virdee a Bedford born freelance graphic designer (Julia V Design) https://www.facebook.com/juliavdesignservices.
Julia received in 2018 the ‘Bedford Business Women- Self-employed woman of the year award’.
Together Anita and Julia reminisce on her school days, her family childhood experiences growing up in a traditional male and female role family.
Julia expresses her views on positive discrimination, man bashing, women and men empowerment, Manosphere – the anti-feminist movement and the importance of educating young people on equality.

Podcast Launch Funding by the Votes for Women Fund

Show Transcription
We are experimenting with transcription services so people can read whats said in our shows. The current experiment is using online computer generated so the following transcript will not be 100% correct or accurate.

Hi, Anita here for the women show on Bedford radio. In this week’s show, I speak to Julia Verde. Judy talks about her views on positive discrimination, man bashing and manners fear the anti feminist movement

Hello I’m here with Julie

Hi I’m Julia verde I’m a freelance graphic designer based here in Bedford and I have been working scripted out scarily. 19 years,

I’ve been working for myself since 2016. I love what I do. I work with so many interesting people. And in 2018 I was named the beverage business women have the self employed Woman of the Year which I’m super proud

of. So Julie we’ve been had to vote for hundred

years I think it’s great that we’re celebrating it recently and yeah, just acknowledging everything that people did to get it for us.

Do you consider yourself a feminist

finish views? I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist

I believe in everyone is there a hero be male or female I think women haven’t necessarily had an equal deal for a long time and it’s about time that is glad to see that the

getting more of an equal to Now what’s your favorite food porn Julie Have you noticed any changes in metrics

and notice some subtle changes so when I was at school certainly goes on Ed netball and hockey Boise football and rugby and I know now through friends that they younger ones are getting to do more things and and being less segregated boys girls there’s obviously been a lot more in the last 12 months with the hundred years and female empowerment but really a part of that have not noticed an awful lot of changes probably been a bit under the radar a bit more subtle than people really noticed. I think

so a school you noticed a few divisions between the genders

Nami most classes we were were pretty much all inclusive so boys and girls at home mag boys and girls did

you know that the DT classy so the woodwork and and that sort of thing although I was the only girl doing would work at work when it got to GCSE. But I think that was just the group because I was at school with looks like the main thing was the sports division is just seemed really interested in that goes didn’t do football.

That’s really affect I think 90% of us wanted to do football, netball. But yeah, that’s been changing recently

did you have a traditional childhood in relation to your gym.

My parents themselves were quite traditional ad quite traditional roles. So my dad was the income and he worked in the building trade. My mom stayed at home and, and raise me and my brother and looked after elderly parents. But there was never really any division between me and my brother. We, we shared our toys, there wasn’t he has already cause and I have all the dolls. It wasn’t blue and pink. And we were certainly brought up with if we want to do any particular role. There was no stopping it really.

So I was very much more into the whole, you know, building trade kind of things, I would be up the step ladder and I would be with playing around with a paintbrush and that sort of thing. And that was encouraged. I didn’t go into that trade, obviously. But

there was definitely no sort of, well girls can only do this boys can only do that if we were both told to do what you want to do. And enjoy it.

That’s really good. And where do you see the future for women

on on a more equal pegging. I think we’re getting to the stage where society is much more equal between men and women. So hopefully in the not too distant future, the big jobs will be more females, the senior CEOs and out of the big, tall big corporates, I think they’re starting to come through now.

And just generally more of an equal footing regarding, you know, whether that’s who stays at home with children or who look size is the big bosses in the companies. But I wouldn’t like to see it go too far female only and I’m not a big fan of positive discrimination as a blanket.

So yeah, equal balance across everything on top,

why are you not a fan of positive discrimination?

Because I think certainly within within business, you need the right person for the job. And someone shouldn’t get the job over someone else, just because they’re female, or just because they might or just because they fit a particular demographic. So the company hits its target for number of people of ethnicity, or males or females, or people have a particular agenda

category, it should be the best person for the job always round. And sometimes that will be a man sometimes that will be a female that’s actually baby I think,

personally, can you see any benefits with regards to positive discrimination,

this is obviously going to be benefits. If you have got us a situation where say, of instance, a bigger company is very dominant Lee white middle class miles, you do need to say, we are going to inject something different whether that’s a younger person, a female

person have a different sexual orientation, or different gender, sorry, different ethnic background, that would be beneficial. But on the whole, I think we’re getting looks like getting to the stage where there is generally more mixed and more inter integration between different people. So maybe not for too much longer

carry on from last question, how do you feel about women empowerment, and men feeling disempowered

have noticed it have say, working myself, you you end up

socializing, networking, getting to meet all sorts of different people from all over the place? And

I’ve come across only man who almost they don’t really know where they are these days, are they still the bread where are they still,

you know, allowed to be a boss allowed to be important and senior and know what they’re doing, or is it almost they’re too scared to do that now, because someone will go will, you should be doing that this should be female empowerment. And you’re taking that power from the female

it has been necessary to, to swing things a bit more female the female way and things like female only networking and that sort of things we really important and really brilliant it’s it’s given women the opportunity to do things they perhaps wouldn’t have done before and not be so scared to, to go out there and be their own boss and bl have noticed this,

there’s a few gray areas. Now, I think guys sometimes are a little bit scared. And rightly or wrongly depends, but um, yeah, be nice to see that very clearly recognized when they have done something that is worth recognizing, just like women,

so you feel the the not being recognized for the for the successes or competition men but women are continually recognized. I think

there’s less acknowledgement with the guys like say that that could just be my little corner of the world where I notice that you have have not really noticed many guys shout about stuff they’ve never chief recently.

So Julie, do you think parts of the female world but that we like to use this phrase going to use this phrase women can sometimes do a lot of male Haiti?

Yes, I have noticed that. It seems quite interesting. You’ll you’ll have a conversation with a group of it will be very much Oh, guys used to say, can’t do this. They can’t do that. They, you know, they, they go off and have fun all on their own. They don’t think about me, they abandon and they’ve got no commitments, no worries, that sort of thing. And I think Well, guys, I know on like that again, it might just be my little corner of the world. I don’t know I can’t speak for the whole of Britain or the whole of the world or anything but I do sometimes think there’s a bit of it’s okay to man bash and not sure is really it’s not okay for a guy to have a go at a woman and say negative and derogatory things about her. So why should it be okay for a woman to that with a guy as long as they’re being a decent man, brilliant, like a woman should be a decent lady is press be old fashioned. But that’s my thought. Anyway,

have you heard of the social media movement called manners? Fear,

never heard that one before. You’ll have to like we need to

manage fear is a social media movement created by men for men, and it counteracts feminism so it’s men who don’t really feel the women should do as they’re told, and we mean, shouldn’t be empowered and women should respond to see men’s needs and men’s desires. I’m trying to be really polite here. And that movement on social media is growing in 2018 declining is growing and kusa counteraction to feminism and feminism growing

definitely not agreeing with that one women shouldn’t have to behave in order to fit into what guys one equally trying to think how to put this like say politely yeah we mentioned have to fit into what guy wants a clear guy she

realized that a woman is another human being

they’re just born with a different set of plumbing

women’s bodies do things guys do guys don’t guys bodies do things women calm and if everyone was saying the world would not go round


it’s completely wrong but guys should think let’s go back to Victorian Edwardian way back when times when men rolled and if you look at family history or anything like that, you realize actually men didn’t roll certainly not in the lower classes. And it was very much equal. It was just there was no publicity then

yeah, that’s it’s perhaps like say a backlash because it’s been so acceptable for women to

openly be proud of what they do openly support each other openly celebrate. And he’s almost that I guess guys are too scared to do that. Whereas is getting the balance again, it’s it’s got to go too far. One way to come back the other

I have led some

views on manners fear. And some people feel it’s a bunch of men who can’t get the girlfriends they want. And that’s that. So the important thing is the girls they want it’s not necessarily can get a girlfriend

because historically Amanda, great control over women because they have the control money power. Whereas now because we’ve been a more independent either, they’re not attractive enough. And no matter how much money they offer, how much power the women they want an independent career minded, they may not necessarily want to touch them.


That’s probably a bit of

natural selection going on there, then,

well, he’s a strong believer that people are, you know, like attracts like. So there’s someone for everyone. And maybe you’re not going to get a 19 year old blonde Who will you know, pamphleteer. every whim? And if that’s what you want, maybe you’re out of luck. But there will be a lady out there for you somewhere. And it looks like goes the other way around as well. I’m sure

do you feel that your gender has been an obstacle in your life

on how No, I pretty confident that when I was in full time employment and and looking for work, I did lose a job based on the fact that I was a female of a certain age

without children. They they pretty much asked out right,

obviously didn’t get the job because they thought I was going to go on maternity leave. And apart from that, I’ve not experienced anything. My my brand and everything is is very pink, very girly. But

I I acquire clients that are male, female, and everything else. And I’m happy to work with anyone. So I don’t think it’s been a barrier to me. Luckily,

I’ve interviewed a few women who have actually stated that when they went through the natural course or five wants to have children or having children, they found some workplaces weren’t so embracing. And you’ve mentioned that to us,

do you think that’s common? I would say it’s probably actually more common than people realize. And I think it’s based more on economics than necessarily they choose not to employ a female because she’s female, I think it comes back down to businesses are quite often strapped for cash. And if they’re having to employ someone

smaller businesses, I’m talking more it’s actually employ someone who may go on maternity leave, and someone to cover their role some genuinely cannot afford to do so I’m not saying that’s right. I’m not saying that is acceptable in any way. But I think sometimes there is more to it than just your female. We don’t employ a female

it shouldn’t happen. But is this is 2018 and economics do come into a lot of things, unfortunately,

how do you feel when you look at social media and you watch the news Do you hear about women in different parts of the world having a different quality of life, I think

I’m very lucky to have been born in this country where you do have the freedom to do these things. Because I’m married to a person with an Indian background. Although he was born and bred in the UK, I take quite a bit of interest in things that happened, say, in India, and you see some of the discrimination that women certainly more in the rural areas, they’re not allowed to go to the template certain times of the month, they’re

not allowed to participate in family events there, as you say, discouraged from having a voice, they’re physically in danger quite often, just because they’re female. And guys still think that you are in charge. And they can do what they say they think. I think those are the countries where we need more of female empowerment, we need more people that can stand up and say, This isn’t right, this has got to change I think we’re quite lucky here to start with, we’ve started from a good place there, they’re starting from way further down than we are. And I think it’s time this one a bit more global. And certainly countries like India, maybe I’ve cried don’t know too much about there. But certain other countries, it needs to be more of more of the fraud and more done about it

Do you feel the young people including women understand the journey women have had to undergo over the past hundred years,

and I think it’s been as last year they’ve got more of an understanding of it. I don’t think it’s something that’s really been taught or explained. Some children said, it wasn’t we were at school, it was just taken it this is what happens.

I think it needs it needs more education, I think, you know, like any major event that’s happened to a country, the next generations need to know the history of it, they need to know what people did to achieve and get where we are. So I think going forward definitely needs to be more done to remind children of what actually happened, what society was then what it is now and why we were lucky enough to have what we do.

That’s very true. So sometimes when I talk to young women, I mean, young men as well I talked to women they don’t sometimes understand

the fact that they can wear what they want to where they were makeup which rouses

that they can have relationships outside marriage, they don’t have to get married, but on the

kind of came about for female empowerment. And prior to that they couldn’t do all this stuff. And sometimes that lack of understanding how controlled we were in you, in the UK, a really major global force.

Yeah, I mean, it’s quite shocking. You talk to someone younger than younger than myself, and they can’t conceive that it was just 100 years ago, the what the world was like, just 110 years ago, you know, this is really modern history. And you sort of say, did you realize that women didn’t do that it wasn’t until World War One that the majority of women had, you know, paid employment. And, you know, women gave up so much when they had, they got married, they have children, they didn’t have land, they didn’t have the right to own property, all these things have changed. And I think like, say, it does come back to education, it does need to be included in modern history. It’s, it’s part of who this country is, and who the women of this country are today. So your children need to know boys and girls, because that’s the only way they’re going to the next generation of guys are going to respect what women have, why women are doing what they’re doing, why empowerment is so important. Because literally 100 years ago, just over 100 years ago, we didn’t have that power. So if they understand that better than movements, like you’ve talked about, maybe will disappear. They clearly need a few history lessons.

I mean, I always failed. The female issue isn’t just a female issue, because all men have mothers, a man is biologically connected to some woman somewhere, and actually having been part of a collective that are empowered actually indirectly empowers you.

Yeah, I’ve always found it really interesting about when you go out dated, by the way, guys, we talk to girls that they didn’t know compared to how they would like someone to talk to their sister or their mother, or

they have a completely different box. Yeah, it was, you are very respectful to your mother, your grandmother, your sister, Nobody messes with these people. So it’s it’s all education. And the more that education is equal, and the way we’re taught about these things, and the way the next generation is different from the previous generation, nothing’s going to happen overnight. But the more people talk and the more people accept that there is equality, there is no superiority. Men are not better than women. Women are not better than men. We are equal because we both do things one of us will do something better than the other gender wise. Like say it takes all of us to make the world go round.

Thanks very much, Julie. You have been absolutely fabulous

thank you had a great time.

Thanks for listening to the bedford radios women show. Remember to like and leave a comment on iTunes share for your friends and please do subscribe however you get your podcast to launch funding for this podcast was provided by the government women’s vote centenary fund to find out more about the public cost head to bedfordradio.org.uk slash women show To find out more about us or how you can support us to continue what we are doing head to bedfordradio.org.uk See you next time.

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